THE changing roles of husbands and wives in the family have become a hot topic for discussion. Saudi society is evolving and so are the social and family lives of citizens, but perhaps most noticeable is how the role of women in the family has changed. The traditional role of a Saudi wife was to stay at home and bring up children, manage the home and offer emotional support to her husband. Nowadays, however, women are expected to find a job and contribute to the community. These changes call for a reevaluation of the belief that women are obliged to serve their husbands at home, and bring up questions such as what is the true role of a wife in a marriage and at home. Al-Madinah daily investigates. Dr. Faisal Alhalabi, professor of Islamic jurisprudence and the manager of a center for family development and training in Al-Ahsa, said a wife's obedience to her husband and the wife being obliged to sit at home are two different matters and the latter does not presume the fulfillment of the former. He also said there is nothing wrong with women working as the concept of women working existed during the time of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). “Given this right, women need to be aware that it is a responsibility more than a right because they now need to balance contributing to society and paying attention to their kids and household. A woman's role at home is not necessarily to cook and clean. The household is simply more secure and stable when the woman of the house is present. As for obedience, wives and husbands serve each other on agreeable terms according to the couple and society around them. In fact, if the wife was used to being served by a maid before marriage, the husband is then obligated to provide his wife a maid,” he said. Alhalabi emphasized the importance of couples supporting each other's goals. “This way, they both perform their duties with the support and encouragement of the other partner. Marriage is meant to be a happy relationship between two people and happiness cannot be achieved by dominance and selfishness,” he added. Lawyer Yousef Aljabr said it is important for husbands and wives to understand their rights and obligations in a marriage. “There is a difference between traditions and legalities. Husbands have the right to have intercourse with their wives and women have the obligation of raising the kids. The belief that women should stay at home is merely a cultural concept. Couples should be comfortable to express their preferences and needs together and create a system and lifestyle where both are comfortable and happy,” he said. Dr. Mohammad Ali, instructor of Islamic Culture at the College of Jurisprudence in Al-Ahsa, disagreed with Alhalabi and Aljabr and said it is better if women stay at home and accused Western thought of corrupting the minds of Saudi women. “A wife must serve her husband at home as this is one of the husband's rights in the marriage contract. On the other hand, a husband is obliged to financially provide for the wife. Harmony between the couple is impossible to achieve if the husband does not approve of what his wife is doing. Women can work on the condition that they have approval from their husbands. Nevertheless, it is always better for women to stay at home with the kids,” he said. “Many of our young women are influenced by the Western thinking that they must find a job and work. We have many lost children, dumped to be raised by maids because they are neglected by their mothers. It is not true that work for women is a necessity, nor is it true that women pursue education to obtain jobs. Women pursue education because it makes them intellectual beings,” he said.
