LIFE is full of coincidences, some very minor, but occasionally — extraordinary. Life also has a funny way of bringing us to the exact people and places to create circumstances that could be impactful in one's life, such that some coincidences could play a major role in altering one's future. Coincidences have brought many a couple together and many have grown old together happily. This fact, the coincidence, has been spread by word of mouth within families and then to society. But today, what may have been coincidences in someone's lives in yesteryears has become a trend in Saudi Arabia; and for some it has been life-altering — you could leave your home single and come back engaged. This trend of spotting, engaging (in conversation) and proposing in public places is growing in credence and acceptance in society with many mothers trying to find a suitable bride or groom for their sons or daughters in mosques, restaurants, or even malls. Such unpredictable marriage proposal is becoming a norm with more and more women joining the workforce. Some men prefer to propose to the woman's family in public places once he feels that she is a suitable match. Ohoud, a Saudi mother in her late 40s, has a daughter in her 20s. She said her daughter was engaged to a boy who spotted her in a mall. Her daughter was employed in a shop in one of the malls in Jeddah. A Saudi male, who saw her, tried to engage her in a conversation, but she refused to talk to him. For several days the male would go to the mall to see her, but after some time Ohoud's daughter and her colleagues berated him. After a week, following the rebuke, the male brought his old, ill mother to the shop. The boy's mother saw the girl and proposed to her and then asked for her family's contact. The girl was shocked by the woman's audacious offer and was left rooted for some moments. But after a few seconds she gave the mother what she asked for. “Later on, I searched and inquired about the family and found out they are a decent family with a good reputation. After collecting the needed information and on my daughter's feedback, I accepted an engagement period. “However, the engagement did not last long,” Ohoud said. “I am not against the idea of accepting a family that had proposed to my daughter in a public place since the new generation is different. They are more open and the communication between people has also changed,” she said. “So it is only a tool for finding the right match or the right person without ignoring the fact that asking about the family's roots and background is vital,” Ohoud added. “However, if I were in his mother's shoes, I would not do the same thing. I wouldn't propose for my son in a public place just because he made a pick.” Proposing for marriage in public places is not a preferred idea for some females, yet they assume it may work and are not averse to the fact that the proposal was made in public. Nada Jambi a Saudi female in her 30s said: “I don't like the idea but this kind of marriages may succeed. For my daughter I may accept the family that has proposed if the guy has good reputation, morals and is religious.” “My friend got married after a family proposed to her family at one of the restaurants. The two families met in a public place and got to know each other before the proposal was effected. The family accepted the idea of their daughter's engagement,” Nada added. For some people searching for a bride in a public place is an act bordering on savagery. Hala Abdullah, a mother, said: “This is savage. As if women are sheep for sale and the men are ready to buy them after inspection. I will not accept my daughter getting married like this.” Laila, another Saudi mother, said: I don't perceive this way of proposing marriage is right. I don't think I will ever accept my daughter getting married this way, because marriage is not only about looks, and this way it seems only looks matter.” Not only parents, but some Saudi women too are refusing to accept this idea of being proposed in public places. Reema Sameer, in her late 20s, said: “This is ridiculous. The idea of the mother asking for a girl's number in public without knowing her is indeed ridiculous. Because of these actions the divorce rate is increasing these days. “By this way, people are concentrating on the looks of the girl only; thus opening up the future prospects of being incompatible in many other ways before becoming yet another divorce statistic.”
