Saudi Gazette report When children reach their teens, families often struggle to adapt to their erratic behavior, impressionability and desire to be independent. Many families try to adapt to the situation at hand, but many others fail to find an effective way to deal with their teenaged son or daughter. In many cases, teenagers become rebellious and tend to hide things from their families and this is where the danger lies. If the family does not have a true picture of what their son or daughter is thinking or going through, they could become victims to life-changing calamities and join foul company. Dr. Mohammad Bin Mutrik Alqahtani, professor of psychology at Imam Mohammad Bin Saud Islamic University and dean of the Deanship for Quality Assurance, sees this particular phase as one of the most important phases in human growth and development. “It is the phase when we go through physical, psychological and intellectual changes. A very common trait of teenagers is that they tend to believe ‘I am different'. Teenagers think they are different from everyone else in the world and what happens to other people will not happen to them. Teenagers also tend to overreact and encounter emotional upheavals, becoming livid over silly things and exuberant over worthless ones,” he said. Alqahtani said it is necessary to be cautious when dealing with teenagers as they are passing through a very crucial stage of personal and emotional development. “At this age, your child's behavior is unpredictable and peer influence is stronger than family influence. Friends are very important at this age as they are the teenager's first real social encounter. Many teenagers begin to care about how they look due to all of the physical changes they are undergoing, thus you find them with weird hairstyles and eccentric clothing. “Our role here is to approach them nicely and provide positive role models for them to look up to. Teenagers like to be very expressive about their feelings. That is why many teenagers blast music on the car's stereo or write on the walls in an attempt to preserve their memories. Teachers, parents and guardians should be prepared to deal with such actions and behavior in a calm and mature way,” he explained. Survival of the fittest Dr. Hiba Naser Ahmad Badawi, holder of a PhD in Psychological Health, said in every phase of human growth and development there is a set of common traits that everyone exhibits. The common traits for teenagers are emotional sensitivity, love for adventures, stubbornness, rebellion, moodiness and out-of-character behavior. “A teenager needs guidance and awareness at that age with regard to his actions and new physical changes. This will teach him to regulate himself and not follow every whim that comes to mind. Calm and transparent interaction is very important. Surviving dealing with teenagers that way is one of the hardest things to do. Get your son or daughter to be more involved in the house and share some chores with them. This will keep them busy in something useful and around positive role models,” she said. Badawi further added that religion at this age is one of the most important things a parent can offer their children. With a strong belief in God and moral principles, the teenager will become a much more positive member of society. “Raising a teenager requires balance. You must attend to all of his needs and encourage all of his interests and not just some. Teenagers also go through an internal struggle between dependency and independency, childish needs and adult aspirations, and rebelling and growing. This emotional turmoil is strongly linked to their sexual hormones. It is what makes the boys irritable and impatient and what makes girls irritable and depressed. They then become inconsiderate to people around them and only pursue their own needs,” she added. Dr. Bander Bin Abdullah Alsharif, an associate professor in educational psychology, said teenagers' brain develops quickly, diminishing their ability for insight. This is why teenagers are quick to take decisions without thinking of the consequences. He urged parents to be supportive and help their children develop into adults. “Teenagers also tend to object to most of what is told to them and reject any intruding advice from other people. We might view this teenager as an ill-mannered boy when in fact his behavior is justifiable by the development of his abstract thinking. Therefore, we should be supportive of the child when he or she is going through this phase.”
