Parents in Arab societies and especially in the Kingdom seem to complain of the same problem, children growing up into stereotypical characters, while parents lose the capacity to control their thinking, behavior and even ambitions and aspirations. “Most families spend their time working to meet their offspring's financial requirements, ignoring the most important side which is their children's mental and physical needs” said Mohammed Al-Hamed, head of the psychological department in Bakhsh hospital. According to Al-Hamed, our youngsters need to be advised and guided; parents need to take some time out of their daily lives and pay attention to their children rather than anything else. “The question that every parent must ask is ‘How does my son or daughter think during this age?',” added Al-Hamed, “I advise parents to read books about raising children, to learn more about their children's characters and behavior patterns” Household and educational environments are the two main factors that determine the way a child will think, speak and even act in his or her daily life. “The educational system here concentrates solely on a set list of rules and regulations, to get the point of the lesson across, nothing more.” Al-Hamed said. Naturally, this means that children will have no chance to think outside the box or express themselves in an individual manner. This factor alone limits the child's state of mind; Al-Hamed explains that this will produce children that lack imagination, which in turn limits aspiration to further benefit themselves and their surroundings. “Our society does not see child education as a primary problem that requires repair, what they do not put into consideration is that the school years are the base of all ethics in a child, as they spend more time there than at home.” he added. Yet, parents and older generations don't seem to notice this defect until the damage is already done, according to Asem Al-Hakim, Imam at Jafar Al-Tayyar Mosque, who said that the poor social contribution of nowadays' youngsters and their lack of general knowledge is what provokes their parents' and elders' malcontent. Al-Hakim's main concern seemed to be the sources that influence youngsters' thoughts. “Hardly any of today's youth are encouraged or even bothered to read, the media is what drives our youth today” Al-Hakim said. Within the last 50 years the social scene of Saudi Arabia has changed dramatically. Where once was a tribal system of values and traditions, has now become a gaping void, but has that actually changed the thought process of youngsters in the Kingdom and how does this change of mentality and motivation manifest itself in today's modern society. “In the past, communities were small and young men were put in charge of caring for their families and their tribal image, since it was easy to tell who's who. Consequently they refrained from immoral behavior,” Al-Hakim said. “Now the rules are different. Society has expanded so much, identifying which family someone came from is near impossible.” Hind Al-Arifi, a housewife has another take on this matter, believing that the absence of authority figures in the life of a child can actually be the cause of these drastic changes. “I have a 13-year-old son; my husband is almost never home, returning only in the dead of night, when my son is asleep, thus never spending time with him, I recently learned that my son has been having an online relationship with a girl, which is obviously due to lack of fatherly authority in the house”, Al-Arifi said. So it might be the time for us to cut short our working hours and spend some time with the kids. Waiting for lightning to strike isn't exactly the best approach to deal with these changes, it's not the big things that you should fear, little things, like thinking, add up. __
