Strong social ties form the foundation of the happiness, stability and development of communities and are a main factor behind the might and power that nations enjoy. Conversely, social problems are a danger to the very existence of communities because they represent a crack which will finally lead to the break up of communities. O Muslims! Let us shed light on one of most important social issues of our time – marriage. A dangerous phenomenon impacting individuals, communities and the Muslim nation as a whole is the phenomenon of life-long spinsterhood. Surveys conducted on this astonishing trend show that in this country alone there are one-and-a-half million single women waiting for the man of their dreams. This will increase in the next five years to reach four million if the trend continues as it is now. This can have many evil consequences, especially during our era when the means of corruption have become easily accessible and the ways of unlawfully fulfilling one's desires have become readily available. The only way to protect the youth from indulging in immorality and evil practices is through early marriage. It is unfortunate that many young men and women are reaching the age of 30 without getting married. Some have perhaps never even entertained the thought of doing so. This corruption only started when obstacles were put in front of those who wanted to get married. Moreover, immorality, prostitution, traveling abroad to corrupt places and illegal sexual relations have become widespread. Majority of reasons behind this is either due to traditions passed down or due to the ideological attack that our nation has been subject to. These were supposed to give our youth hopes and dreams. But they are in reality illusions from Satan. Some youth give the excuse that they desire to complete their studies and that marriage would prevent them from doing so. But was marriage ever an obstacle? Experience has proved that a successful marriage helps in freeing the mind and relaxing the soul. We must be very clear in our objectives. If university degrees mean one will remain unmarried till an old age, especially for a woman, then what good are they for? She may even miss the train of marriage altogether? What good is it if she never enjoyed having a husband or children to decorate her life? She may never have a source of benefit after her death. Many women delayed marriage and therefore missed out. Their beauty faded away and then they wished they could tear up their degrees in exchange for hearing a child call them, “Mother.” But this usually happens after it becomes too late. We sadly hear this too often from those who went through this terrible experience. Such problems are due to an unclear understanding, weak faith and misconceptions regarding the objectives of Islam. People have unjustified fears about the future, over-reliance on positions at work, being materialistic in life, and over-keenness to get degrees. All this weakens one's reliance on Allah and the acceptance of His decree. Young men and women must get married as soon as possible, and they should not deprive themselves from their desired happiness and success due to the false excuse of building for their future first, because Allah says (the meaning of which translates as): “And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.” (Qur'an, 24:32) Abdullah Bin Mas'ood (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “If there were only 10 days left in my life, and I knew that I would die after that, and I could get married then I would still do so, so that I would not expose my self to corruption.” Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy upon him) said: “Remaining single is not from Islam, and anyone who introduces the idea of remaining single is introducing something other than Islam.” One of the main reasons for the spread of this phenomenon is that some parents oppressively prevent their daughters from marrying suitable young men, despite the fact that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “If a man whose religion and manners you approve of comes to you (proposing to your daughter), then give her in marriage to him, otherwise, there will be turmoil on the earth and great corruption.” (Al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah) Some fathers breached the trust from Allah which they have carried regarding their daughters by preventing them from marriage. It may be that a young man comes to them asking for their daughter and they delay or prohibit him for no reason, citing baseless excuses. Indeed some fathers see their daughters as a piece of merchandise to be sold at an auction. Such fathers do not realize that this is in fact oppression and betrayal. Some fathers even delay their daughter's marriage in order to benefit from her salary. Where is their mercy? Do they not consider the consequences of their actions? How can someone who knows about the nature of a woman imprison her for life? If these people had used their minds then they would have looked for suitable husbands for their daughters, just as Umar offered his daughter for marriage to Abu Bakr and then Uthman, may Allah be pleased with them. Sa'eed Bin Al-Musayyib gave his daughter in marriage to one of his students. Making marriage difficult is destroying homes, killing chastity, ruining morality and spreading evil. O fathers! Fear Allah regarding those whom are guardians of and rush into marrying them to those who propose for them. Rejecting suitable men and delaying women from marriage jeopardizes and endangers men, women and indeed the community as a whole. Suitable men are those whose practice of Islam is sound, whose manners are good and who are kind, honest and from a good family. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Marry the one who has (i.e., practices) religion, and you will rejoice.” The tradition of excessive expenditure on weddings and exorbitant dowries, which some people impose upon the groom, only adds to the problem. Brothers and sisters who are suffering from this problem! Persevere, remain steadfast and chaste and be content with the decree of Allah because what He has for you is better. Fathers and guardians! We have high hopes in you; we are very optimistic that you will open your hearts and positively respond to that which is better for you, your children and your community. The cure for spinsterhood lies in strengthening the foundation of faith in the Muslim nation and raising this coming generation upon the correct belief, while emphasising on morals and principles in our Muslim communities. We should facilitate marriages, reduce dowries and marry our daughters to suitable young men based on the correct Islamic criteria for choosing a spouse. The media should educate people and direct them to goodness. We should guide people to suitable young men and the wealthy should support those who wish to get married. – SG – Excerpt from a khutbah given in 2005 __
