There is no communication within the family, and when there is it's all in the wrong way, said Saudi high school students at the first Family Dialogue symposium. Participants of the first Family Dialogue Symposium unanimously agreed that many Saudi families suffer from the absence of dialogue between family members. ‘Family Dialogue: Reality, Obstacles and Mechanism of Reinforcing it' organized by the King Abdul Aziz Center for National Dialogue was held at Marriott Hotel in Riyadh Sunday evening. Dialogue within families, how it exists and the types of damage that results in the lack of dialogue were the focus of the symposium. 70 participants took part in the seminar from academics, specialists, educators and high school students. The seminar consisted of three discussion sessions; Realities of Family Dialogue, Benefits of Family Dialogue, Mechanism of Family Dialogue and the roles of social institutions. Prior to the symposium, the Center held meetings with a number of students and academics from secondary schools to form a vision of the realities of family dialogue in Saudi society through the eyes of students. “The most effective way to develop strong family ties is by effective communication between family members,” said Wafaa Al-Tuwaijri, Assistant to the Secretary General of King Abdul Aziz Center for National Dialogue. “Continuous dialogue among family members reinforces love, interaction and communication within the family.” The lack of communication skills among families was not surprising since effective communication skills are not taught in schools, in the curriculum or in society, explained Bahjat Ezi, secretary general of the International Family Commission the Islamic World League and head of the Family Committee for the National Society of Human Rights. “Despite dialogue being a major part of Islamic teachings we lack the implementation in reality.” The problem is even greater in male dominant families said participants. “In such families there is no room for dialogue and especially for women and girls,” said Maha Muneef executive director of the National Family Safety Program. The lack of dialogue among family members has lad to the breakup of many families, if not physically emotional in divorces, explained Nawal Al-Thanayan a professor of Arabic Language at King Saud University. “Today young couples divorce very fast and when there are children involved, many couples stay together but live isolated in their own islands,” said Fouziyah Al-Baker an educational specialist and activist. “ When there is communication between parents there will be communication in the family.” Baker explained that today Saudi families are very much living apart. “Each member is enclosed in his own self, even when they go out to rest houses, the kids are playing with maids looking after them, women are busy drinking tea, men are in their separate corners and the young are on laptops.” The dangers of the lack of communication was discussed with teenagers saying that they felt weak to temptations and peer pressure works and they cannot talk to their parents and women suffer silently in their homes. “Children are brought up obeying parents, teachers and elders without expressing their own thoughts and this makes them weak individuals who can not say NO to peer pressure,” said Faika Al-Edressi, a physiologist, who said that many of her patients confessed that they felt they could not say no to drugs when their peers pressured them. Growing up in an environment which discourages expressing oneself will have damaging effects that last a life time, said one participant. Some participants referred to the number of suicides committed by Saudi females as a sign that there is a problem within Saudi families. While most participants felt that Saudi families are in danger due to the lack of dialogue, Sheikh Abdul Aziz Al-Fozan felt strongly that Saudi families still have strong family ties. “Family relations and ties are strong if not the strongest in the world,” said Fozan. Wafaa Tajal, Editor and Chief of Bareed Al-Moalem an educational magazine, called on preschools to focus on building children's self-confident and communication skills instead of focusing on writing and reading which they can learn at school. While some participants blamed school curriculum, families and parents for the lack of communication within families, Nora Al-Saed blamed the media which does not represent thoughts of both the sides equally. “Parents and husbands sometimes use their authority in a wrong way, we teach children not to communicate when we shut them up all the time,” said one participant. “Sometimes there is dialogue within families but it's done in all the wrong ways like shouting, yelling, which makes the children fearful in expressing themselves,” said Reem Al-Garni a high school student. __
