MANY expatriate fathers in the Kingdom often have to part with their children who travel elsewhere in search of quality education. Moreover, apart from the empty nest syndrome which afflicts parents when their children leave home, it is the fathers who have to pay the children's exorbitant tuition fees. “I came to Saudi Arabia leaving my family behind in Lahore so that I can support them financially. My children are studying in universities while I have to live here in a bachelors' accommodation,” said Sajid Butt, a Pakistani national in Jeddah whose children study in Punjab University, Lahore. “Life is a struggle living in a foreign land without one's family. But I am sure my sacrifices will pay off when my children would reach their goals,” he said. International Fathers' Day is celebrated on June 21 in many countries, such as, the US, UK, Canada, Chile, France, Japan and India, while a few others celebrate it on the third day of June. In Saudi Arabia, though the day is not officially marked, some expatriates nevertheless consider it an occasion to honor their fathers and spend time with them. However, many expats believe that dads, especially expat dads deserve more than just a day. They say it is the spirit behind the celebration that matters and that the contribution of fathers to their families and to societies at large should be acknowledged. “A father is thought to be the Rabb Al-Usra, which means ‘head of the family', in Islamic culture, and shares a very beautiful and intimate relationship with his children, unlike in the western culture in which there is a communication gap between the father and his son. However, celebrating the importance of a father should not be limited to just a day,” said Dr Mohammad Iqbal Musani, who works at Al-Jedani Hospital, Jeddah. “In our culture, our children are emotionally attached to us. They share everything with us. Dads deserve more than one day a year, and every day in itself is a celebration of this relationship,” said Ifthikhar Wali Khan, a Pakistani national working as banker in an Islamic bank in Jeddah. As a tribute to them, fathers are showered with cards, flowers and gifts or something more special. For some children who do not live at home, it is a chance to spend quality time with their fathers. The day also brings wonderful opportunities for children to express thanks and to apologize for rude or insensitive behavior. Sara Hussien, an Egyptian who studied at Cairo University, has plans for this year's Fathers' Day. “For seven years, I lived away from my father and visited the Kingdom only during the holidays. I cherish all the moments that I spend with my father. He has been my pillar of strength, and this year, I hope to spend some quality time with him,” she said. Setting up a day to honor fathers began in Spokane, Washington in 1909. A father is indeed that person who gives an identity to his son or daughter, thereby shaping them with his vision, support and guidance. “I helped my son choose his career when he was interested in studying medicine. He has now decided to pursue a degree in business management and I support that decision of his as well,” said Dr Musani. “My father holds a special place in my life. He has helped me with my college admissions in Karachi. He also provides me with mental strength,” said the recently-married Sadaf Khan, who is the daughter of Ifthikhar Wali Khan. “During this process (marriage), my father stood by me in all my decisions and today, I am thankful to him. What a great dad he is!” she added. Fathers often play the role of being their children's best friends and mentors. “A father should develop a healthy relation with all his children and be like a friend to them. On Fathers' Day, it is the children's turn to do something special for their parents,” said Mohammad Tasleem, a Pakistani accountant analyst at Al-Jaffali SBM. Sadaf Tasleem, Tasleem's daughter who is studying in Lahore, said she misses her father a lot. “For the last four years in Pakistan, I have missed my father a lot and have spoken to him on the phone a number of times. I send him presents on his birthday. He has helped me in choosing my career,” she said. Carol Fleming Al-Ajroush, an American media consultant and freelance writer based in Riyadh, shares some memories of her deceased father with Saudi Gazette. “When I was four-years-old, my father allowed me to help him plant pine trees all around our place. At that time I was taller than the trees that we planted. Eventually, the trees grew much taller than any of us, and now they provide us with a natural and thick wall of privacy. Every time I see these trees, I am reminded of the day when they were planted and the time I spent with my dad,” she said. Describing the relationship between a father and his daughter as ‘one of the most beautiful, caring and protective relationships', Al-Ajroush said: “A unique and special bond exists between a girl and her father. Until the girl grows up into a woman and marries, it is her father who is her male role model.”
