A SERIOUS test of the efforts to educate and modernize the judiciary is about to present itself in a charge of “incompatible origins” brought in Jeddah by the brothers of a married woman, according to the SG report published on March 9. The woman's family has already taken the man to court for kidnapping the woman when what he actually did was to marry her legally. The current brouhaha, according to the both the man and the woman, stems from the woman's refusal to transfer her power of attorney over the inheritance of their father's property abroad to them. There is, of course, a long history of families exercising sometimes inordinate power over the marriages of children and siblings. Although anyone in any culture has to contend with the opinions of their families when making the decision to marry, there are few countries where would-be married couples are wholly at the discretion of their families. And there are even fewer countries where families are able to legally dissolve a marriage of a family member. No matter what the family input in a marriage, it is ultimately a personal decision that should be arrived at by the only two who must contend with its consequences: the bride and groom. There are centuries-old tales in this region about love sparking between those of different tribes but such stories are not confined to the Middle East. Anyone who has watched even a few movies from the West knows well the stories of girls and boys from differing social and economic backgrounds who fall in love in the face of society's and their family's condemnation. There is an old song performed by Etta James which has as part of its refrain “I can't control my feelings, after all I didn't make myself.” And that, indeed, is the nature of love. From the days of the Pharaohs until today, no one has been able to change that. Families certainly should have some influence on the important decisions that their children and siblings face. Regardless of such influence, however, some decisions fall solely to those they affect directly. Marrying and staying married is obviously one of those. __
