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Courting women by force
Published in The Saudi Gazette on 21 - 05 - 2015


Khalaf Al-Harbe
Okaz


POLICE in the Eastern Province have apprehended two young men who appeared in a widely circulated video clip quarreling with two young girls in a shopping mall.
Fighting broke out when one of the two men tried to take the mobile number of one of the girls by force. She took his mobile phone and broke it. This weird scene reveals the method of courting women in our country, either in a civilized or a traditional manner. We have flatly failed in both methods.
Such scenes never or very rarely take place in civilized societies because there are deterring laws to stop harassers.
In the traditional Arab societies it is also very rare to see such scenes. Men in these societies are afraid that the women may become angry and scandalize them if they dare to court them openly.
In our society, a certain category of people tried deliberately to skin the women, making them an easy prey and a victim walking on her feet to her destiny.
The law, which protects the women, has been resisted on the ground that it is derived from Western liberalism. The same category of citizens has also deleted the concepts of traditional Arab chivalry from the brains of many people.
The situation has been reversed. The woman alone is responsible for whatever happens to her. She is solely responsible for all attempts of harassment against her.
It is the woman who goes out to the market without covering her face. It is the woman who tries to defend herself without seeking the help of gallant men. So she deserves whatever happens to her.
These are weak justifications emanating from extreme beliefs that are totally void of chivalry. These justifications are made to serve the interests of the same category of citizens who are benefiting from imposing their hegemony on society.
With the consolidation of such ideas, the picture has been turned upside down. The woman will now resort to the silence of the lambs when she is harassed out of fear that she will be scandalized.
Taking advantage of this situation, the harasser has pulled out his muscles and is howling like a wolf without anyone to stop him right in his place.
It is a very normal scene in our country to see a young man trying to forcefully open the limousine window to take the phone number of the woman passenger on the back seat.
The woman, who is banned from driving, has committed the mistake of riding the limousine as a means of transport. So she deserves what happens to her. If the woman chooses to walk, this means that she is looking for someone to give her a lift and she will not mind if the man who picks her up and tries to make advances to her on the way.
To protect their girls against harassment while in their own car, some families tend to make their Asian driver wear the traditional Saudi dress. This is, of course, a desperate attempt to keep the harassers away.
In all markets of the world in the east or west, you will not see such hateful scenes. You will not see lusty young men chasing frightened women to make passes to them.
Such a chase in our country will usually end in a fight. Men, who are not courting, will gather not to intervene to end the fight but to see what will happen to the victims at the end.
All the women, who have not themselves been courted, will flee from the scene. They will not dare to support their gender for fear that they themselves will be victims and will be made part of the scandal.
Neither the Arabs nor the Westerners will accept this. The majority of the world's societies will reject such scenes. This is because they have deterring ethics and laws, not the so-called religious guardians who are trying to impose their beliefs on society.
Look for these detestable scenes where men try to obtain the telephone numbers of women by force in the malls and shopping centers in Paris, Dubai, Istanbul or Beirut. You will not find any.
So be sure that the mentality of the religious guardians has created a weird society in our country.


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