Sociologists and psychologists agree that married couples should not involve their children in marital problems and do as much as they can to keep them out of their disputes. The primary goal of any couple is to give their children a sound upbringing but having constant quarrels in front of children will have a negative impact on them. Unfortunately, many parents fail to recognize the immense responsibility they have toward raising their children in a cordial environment filled with love, security and affection. Al-Riyadah daily reports.
Moral breakdown
According to teacher Nawal Al-Asmari, a large number of parents make the mistake of arguing with and shouting at one another in front of their sons and daughters. Children who witness such fights often grow up to be pessimistic, insecure and angry.
“They're also not good achievers at school and tend to pick fights with their classmates. I've seen this happen in front of my eyes; I can tell whether a student lives in a stable home or not by the way he acts,” Al-Asmari said while adding that such students lose interest in life, rarely talk to others and even develop speech problems.
Constant quarrels
Samah Al-Akeel, a college student, lives in a home where her parents are constantly arguing. She says she has become accustomed to their fights and the use of abusive language against each other. Her siblings feel the same. “Ever since I was a child, my father has always beaten my mother and she, in turn, launches a barrage of swear words at him. I learned a long time ago to never butt in,” Al-Akeel said.
“Rarely does our family sit at the same table and eat together; most of the time my father is busy working while my mother spends a lot of time with her friends. I no longer have any feelings of love towards my parents,” she added.
Rawabi Al-Mushait, also a student, said her mother always tries to get her and her siblings involved in the problems she has with their father.
“If my mother has a fight with our father, she asks us to not talk to our father or listen to what he says. If we do what she says, our father gets angry. If we talk to our father, she gets mad at us and accuses us of taking our father's side. Sometimes, she says we are disobedient children. I often wish my parents were divorced,” Al-Mushait said.
Family problems
Sociologist Hayfa Al-Sofooq said a lot of parents take arguments lightly and wrongly believe marital problems do not pose any danger to family unity. Having marital quarrels all the time will lead to complicated problems that are difficult to resolve.
“Usually, when things get complicated, parents will not agree to meet the other halfway and resolve their differences. This lack of flexibility will negatively affect the stability of their home as well as the psychological state of their children. For example, the consequences of these quarrels have been related to nocturnal enuresis (bedwetting at night), bad dreams, hostility, and introversion in children who grow up in such homes,” Al-Sofooq said.
“It's a sad thing that most parents are unaware of the destructive effects of marital problems on children. To make things worse, some parents force their children to pick sides and choose between the father or the mother. This is a source of constant conflict in their children who do not know whose side they should take,” she added.
