Death is a reality. For those close to the bereaved family, paying personal condolences is expected. Sympathy cards and books of condolence have also been common ways for people who were unknown to the deceased to send expressions of compassion. Now, in this digital age, mourning has moved online. Memorial pages at various social networking sites appear after the passing of every celebrity. Such pages are often set up too, after the media reports on the death of a person in some tragedy. Facebook is the most common social networking site for such “fan” created “Rest in Peace (RIP)” pages. Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques King Abdullah, the innocents murdered in the Army Public School Peshawar Massacre and humanitarian aid worker Alan Henning are all the focus of such memorial pages on Facebook. After a high a profile death, it is increasingly common to see mass public outpourings of grief on RIP Facebook pages, which may be created by anyone, with any goal. Lisbeth Klastrup, Associate Professor, at the IT University of Copenhagen, recently authored research, “‘I didn't know her, but…': parasocial mourning of mediated deaths on Facebook RIP pages”. The research, which appeared in the New Review of Hypermedia and Multimedia, focused on RIP pages paying tribute to six young Danes, whose deaths received high profile press coverage. She found that “RIP pages changed the speed, scope and form of mourning. News media heightened awareness to individual cases, spurring waves of online public grief and empathy.” In discussion with Klastrup, she noted that based on the pages she studied, the people who visited the RIP pages and wrote comments there, expressed what were to them real emotions. “Obviously, if they are not related to the deceased, it will not be the same depth of grief or sorrow they feel, but it appears they identify with and feel genuine sympathy for the families of the deceased,” she remarked. “Some of the commenters are also likely to have some form of connection with the deceased, perhaps as someone from the same school or neighborhood, and then they are likely to feel really emotionally upset about this. Since it is likely that many of these people have heard about the death through the media, the media will play a role in helping ‘fuel' people's emotional involvement, but media are not the only cause of emotion.” While she didn't personally interact with the loved ones of the deceased, Klastrup did review the reactions put down in writing on the pages by families and friends. She found that there were two types of responses. Some families and friends created and used RIP pages to give thanks and reach out to the community. Grief and sentiments on these pages were respectful and well managed. However, some families were “uncomfortable and unhappy about the RIP page.” This was generally because the page was not controlled by a relative or friend of the deceased. In this situation, the family had no influence on the contents or posts on the page. “In one case I have observed, the person who created the RIP page seemed to do it solely for the purpose of getting likes, and not out any form of sympathy with the deceased,” Klastrup advised. “In these cases, the RIP page may be experienced as directly offensive from the family's perspective.” Klastrup added that she had come across RIP pages created by strangers “with the best of intentions,” perhaps individuals who had been bereaved in a similar way or who were from the same background as the deceased. “From an ethical perspective,” said Klastrup, “I think that good moral behavior would always be to consult with the family of the deceased if they feel ok about having a RIP page around, and respect the family if they want the page deleted.”
