SO many people have commented on the different types of drivers spotted along Jeddah's highways and byways that I have begun to think of it in ornithological terms with all the wonderfully varied plumage, exotic behavioral patterns, and even intriguing ritual dances that were once thought to be found only in the world of our feathered friends. What a wonderful opportunity we have here to watch for unusual species engaged in their everyday activities. However, before we can do any kind of bird watching efficiently, we need a good guidebook so that we can easily identify the type of bird in front of us. In the hopes of developing a typology of such featherless creatures, I offer a few types below and encourage readers to supply more as they spot unusual types, rare sightings which can allow our bird watching guide to grow and prosper. Of course we need to add that our guidebook here in Jeddah can now only cover the male of the species. Our book, however, is also important to ladies who will one day find themselves behind the wheel and thus faced with the antics of many strange avian species. Let us begin with the common garden variety (but not to be despised for that) ‘lane changer' found at almost every large intersection. We have all seen how this bird lies waiting in the far right or left lane only to lurch across the traffic as soon as the light changes thus slowing the flow of vehicles and providing an opportunity for hundreds of cars to sit through another lengthy red light. The ‘lane changer' often (but not always) gives his game away as he edges his beak to the right or left thus giving the other birds a chance to guess his intention and to prepare themselves to honk and hiss (and worse if we could understand them) in protest. Then there is the ubiquitous ‘hair trigger honker' found much like the ‘lane changer' at almost every traffic light. This bird suffers from a light sensitive malady and any changing of lights sets off an incessant bout of honking. You can really only feel sorry for this species because they are all slaves to a particular variation of colors in the spectrum. Whenever, there is a change of light from red to green something snaps in them and sets off enough honking to put any gaggle of geese to shame. If you really want to hear these birds hit the high notes, just go to any major intersection and when the light turns green, slightly delay moving forward. I guarantee that you will be treated to a veritable horn concerto. Another species is the dangerous ‘speedy weaver bird.' This bird can first be glimpsed in your rear view mirror as, at very high speed, he weaves in and out of the traffic careening from one side of the road to the other. If you are lucky you may see him pass right in front of you, but this will be your only chance to get a good look as this species does not slow down but is ever looking for a gap among the birds ahead so that he can continue weaving in and out among them. As he passes ahead of you, you will have a chance to admire his skill as he darts through spaces where you would have thought no bird could fly. Then there is another dangerous nocturnal bird of prey – the ‘tailgating headlight flasher.' This bird flying at high speed seems to come from nowhere, swooping out of the sky to flash his high beams directly behind your car. His intention of course is that you should get out of the way, and if you do, will see him fly ahead to find another victim to blind with his flashing lights. Every now and then you will meet one of these birds during the day, but being nocturnal creatures they really only seem halfhearted in the daylight and of course their flashing lights are much less effective. However, day or night they are dangerous birds that travel at high speed swooping down on unsuspecting prey. At the other end of the speed spectrum is the slightly daffy ‘gawking cruiser.' This bird glides along without a care in the world at the slowest of speeds oblivious to all the other birds in his flight path. He seems to be having a good look all around him as his head turns to the right and left – anywhere but to the road straight ahead. He usually has a passenger on board, and they seem to be having an animated conversation, hands flying through the air and fingers pointing out important landmarks. This bird either does not know where he is going or is just out for a nice cruise letting the air currents carry him wherever they will. Of course, there are masses of other birds who do have somewhere to go and the cruiser is stopping many of them from getting ahead. But that is of little concern to our bird whose eyes are everywhere except ahead and behind him. And as you can imagine, it is a rare bird watching treat when you are lucky enough to spot a particularly obtuse gawking cruiser being closely followed by a relentless tailgate flasher. In fact, it is moments like these that make bird watching in Jeddah particularly worthwhile. Really, you have to laugh. __
