a href="/myfiles/Images/2014/04/09/sr01_big.jpg" title="According to author Jennifer Cannon, "If we choose to allow our children to become active in social media, we must take responsibility for making them aware of the potential dangers."" According to author Jennifer Cannon, "If we choose to allow our children to become active in social media, we must take responsibility for making them aware of the potential dangers."
Molouk Y. Ba-Isa Saudi Gazette
A few months ago, while chatting with some Saudi university professors about their children and Facebook usage, it became clear that these well-educated people were dangerously out of touch with the truth about teens' use of social media. Comments such as “she would never” and “he friended me so I could see what he's doing,” were indications that these learned parents had giant knowledge gaps in regards to online sharing. They considered going on Facebook or Twitter to be a harmless bit of fun, similar to playing video games. If Saudi professors with degrees in technology are so misinformed, then what might the average parent be thinking? It seems that a reality check is in order and Jennifer “J. J.” Cannon, mother and Social Media Pro, is just the person to deliver it. The author of “@Sophie Takes A #Selfie,” her book of rules and etiquette for tweens and teens aims to help young people develop a sense of self-love, self-respect and self-worth through appropriate sharing on social media. The message put forth in the book is supported though the website www.SophieTakesaSelfie.com. According to Cannon, the “Sophie” of the book symbolizes every young girl, tween and teen in possession of a smart device. Cannon likens that smartphone or computer to a stick of dynamite, if used without proper guidance or self-control. In the book, the whole wide world opens up to Sophie who can now be in constant communication with friends and share anything in an instant on her favorite social media site. The question though is, should she? “It is clear that most of us cannot resist social media in some form or another. It is only natural that teens are drawn to it,” said Cannon. “Social media is fun and when used in a positive way can break down so many barriers. What I am encouraging and promoting is for parents to speak to their kids early on about the kind of digital footprint they want to leave and what constitutes appropriate online behavior.” There are many different social media platforms and new apps every day. If a parent isn't digitally savvy, it can be overwhelming to understand all the intricacies of what's possible online. But to keep their families safe, parents must take the time to learn about technology. “When you hand a smartphone to a kid between the ages of 7 and 17, some even younger, you are, in effect, handing them the whole world to carry around in their pockets! This is not a throw-her-in-the-pool-and-see-if-she'll-swim situation. I believe it is our responsibility as parents to know what our kids under the age of eighteen are doing online,” commented Cannon. Are there really any dangers associated with kids having an account on Facebook or using WhatsApp? “Kids are killing themselves in record numbers over words they see printed on a screen or sent to them in text messages by cyber bullies who, thanks to technology, are almost impossible to ignore now,” Cannon stated. “In the year between September 2012 and September 2013 there were nine teen suicides directly associated with one social platform. The Internet is a child predator's playground and kids can be lured by these people through online gaming, in chat rooms, on social media apps, etc. There are many people who don't realize that the geo-tagging feature is not turned off on their phones. This allows anyone to see right down to a street address on a map the location of where all of their pictures are taken. Parents and kids need to understand that ‘privacy' is not the default setting on most social media apps.” In fact, “super public” is the preferred app setting for the companies who create the apps that share. Many tweens and teens, too, work hard to put every detail of their lives online. The more “friends” they have the better. But Cannon questioned the sense of that. She pointed to Dunbar's number which puts a limit of 150 on the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships. “The harm,” said Cannon, “comes when kids start equating their own self-worth to the number of followers or ‘friends' they've acquired.” Even worse, online friends might not be friends at all. In the virtual world people can portray themselves in any way. Perception is reality online and that can have dangerous consequences when the person in cyberspace manages to enter the real world of a child or even an adult. Cannon is a fan of monitoring software that allows parents to see what kids are doing with smartphones and computers. She remarked that some kids have “multiple accounts within the same app. They have an account they let their parents see and then accounts with different names that their parents may not be able to see. What all of us need to remember, especially kids, is that everything done from a smart device is tracked to its registered owner.” In Saudi Arabia this means that anything done on any smart device - phone, tablet, computer, wearable technology - is in part the responsibility of the person paying for the connection. The Kingdom has regulations in regards to slander, cyber bullying, hacking and many other online crimes. Ignorance of the use of a device will not save a parent from the consequences of their child's actions. Beyond legal infringements there is the present and future damage that a teen's “over-sharing” may cause. In Cannon's book, one of the rules to follow is: Beware the Over-Share: Check yourself before you wreck yourself, please! It's unfortunate, but everything that goes online stays online. “Gone is the feeling of relief one once possessed after leaving behind, let's say, an embarrassing high school experience or those awfully awkward middle school days,” said Cannon. “Today, prospective college roommates or bosses are going to Google you first and ask questions later. Adding your new college friends or co-workers on Facebook? Now they can look back at who you “used to be.” What will they see? How many potentially embarrassing photos are there of you floating around that a ‘frienemy' might choose to unearth at the most inopportune moment?” At home, Cannon has put into practice the message she is promoting in her book. “My daughter is ten and we got her a phone last summer for her birthday,” the author explained. “She does not use social media and has a small group of friends she communicates with via text messaging. We have access to her phone, however, she is much less interested in it than a lot of other girls her age. Every child is different and parents need to use their own best judgment. What is right for our family, may not be right for yours.” Once a child is “socially active,” parents must be on the lookout for potentially harmful situations. In cyberspace, bullies are bolder than in the real world. “Do not engage bullies online. This only fuels their fire,” said Cannon. “If a child is having a problem with a friend or classmate, parents should discuss the situation and make a decision about contacting the other child or children's parents directly. In some cases it may be necessary to contact school administrators.” What about taking photos with friends or putting photos online? According to Cannon it's best to proceed with caution. Consider if everyone in the photo has given permission for the photo to be taken. Think if anyone in the picture would be embarrassed, hurt or offended. Lastly, even if that photo is supposed to be private, keep it offline if anyone would be mortified if a screenshot were captured of the image. “If we choose to allow our children to become active in social media, we must take responsibility for making them aware of the potential dangers and pitfalls. I don't believe anything we share online is truly private, which is why it is so important for parents to teach their kids not to share too much personal information,” said Cannon. “I hope to inspire more thoughtfulness in the way young people - all people - communicate with one another. As fun and exciting as it is to be evermore connected, there is a down-side which is ultimately desensitizing and dis-connecting us on a real and human level.”
