Courts across the Kingdom have examined a large number of cases involving parental abuse. We read several stories of maltreatment and abuse in which the perpetrators are the children and the victims are their parents. Some forget or pretend to forget the lofty ideals of upholding the rights of parents and violate human values and the fundamental principles of Islam. They deliberately disobey their parents, and often this goes beyond verbal abuse to physical assault, although Islam considers this as a grave sin. Allah says in the holy Qur'an: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him; and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them reach old age, say not to them a word of disrespect, or shout at them, but address them with honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.' There are real incidents of parental abuse recounted in courts and in case files; and in these cases, the abusers are put behind bars. What would be their punishment in the life after death? There were shameful and chilling incidents of children beating up mothers, killing fathers and driving both of them out of their homes. There are those who abandon their parents or leave them at shelters for elderly people. What I am going to tell here is a true story. A man in the prime of his youth was accompanied by his mother on a trip in his car. During their travel, the man had a verbal exchange with her mother and this turned into a quarrel over some family matters. At the height of their dispute, the furious man slapped her mother on the face several times and, as a result, her teeth were broken. Her mouth bled profusely. At a checkpoint, the mother opened the car's door and called for help from the policemen. She was then admitted to a hospital and the man was taken into custody. He is now trial in court for abusing and attacking his mother. This is an example of how people are mistreating their parents, especially a mother. In Islam, the status of mother is three times more than the father. It was narrated in a Hadith or tradition of the Prophet (peace be upon him) that Abu Hurairah said: A man came to Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) and asked: “Which of the people is most deserving of my companionship?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked: “Then who?” The Prophet said: “Then your mother.” He asked: “Then who?” The Prophet said: “Then your mother.” He asked: “Then who?” The Prophet replied: “Then your father.” In the case that I have told you, the son assaulted her mother who carried him for nine months in her womb and suffered a lot of pain and difficulties during her pregnancy. After giving birth, she spent sleepless nights to take care of him all through his childhood. Allah says about this in the Qur'an: “And we have enjoined man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him in hardship. And she brings him forth with hardship, and bearing him, and weaning him is thirty months. When he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous deeds that may please You and make my offspring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance, and truly, I am one of the Muslims.” During the last Ramadan, I saw a number of young men who were competing with each other in distributing iftar meals at one of Jeddah's traffic intersections. When I spoke with them, most of them said that they were eagerly waiting every year to engage in this charity deed with an intention to get rewards for their deceased parents. They got inspiration from the following Hadith: It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “When a man or a woman dies, all his/her good deeds come to an end, except three: Ongoing charity done by the deceased or beneficial knowledge of the deceased that will keep on helping others or righteous son/daughter who will pray for him/her (the deceased).” There is a big difference between an abusive son and a virtuous son. Everyone should be mindful of giving due respect to their parents, and fulfill their duties and responsibilities toward them. They must remember that Paradise is under the feet of the mothers.
