This child regularly trashes toiletries, has broken a couple of sofas, four computers and three TV sets at his house – yet, his mother says, “We don't blame him for this. It is our test from Allah.” Meet Nuzhat and Siraj-Ul-Haq, two very special people who believe they are blessed to have a child with special needs, their 10-year-old son Abdullah, who suffers from Autism and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and studies at the Hope Center for Exceptional Needs, Jeddah. Abdullah was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of four, when his mother noticed that he was hyperactive and was not showing regular milestones of development. Doctors define ADHD as “a neurobehavioral developmental disorder which presents itself during childhood, and is characterized by a persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity as well as forgetfulness, impulsivity, poor impulse control and distractibility.” ADHD is currently considered a persistent and chronic condition for which no medical cure is available, although medication and therapy can treat symptoms. Hope Center Jeddah has six skilled therapists who offer these children treatment using different therapies like speech language pathology, physiotherapy, occupational therapy, hippotherapy, art therapy and movement therapy. Hippotherapy, which is a treatment that uses the multidimensional movement of a horse, is provided at the Open Skies stable and is believed to improve balance, posture, mobility and functions of the brain and body. Like other ADHD patients, Abdullah is also hyperactive. His father, Siraj Ul-Haq says his son cannot sit in one place for more than 10 seconds. He is prone to aggression, but doesn't hurt anyone even if he is angry. Siraj-Ul-Haq adds, “His behavior therapy at Hope has helped him cognitively, but basically, without medications, he is hyperactive.” Uzma Raheem Hussain at Hope says training these children is a stressful task that requires a lot of patience. She says working with special needs children involves a special responsibility, because the disability of a single child affects the whole family. Talking about the impact of Abdullah's special needs on the family, Nuzhat regrets that she is not able to give Abdullah's siblings (he has an elder sister, Hiba and a younger brother, Abdur Rahman) due attention. She says, “My other kids are suffering a lot because I can't give them the time which I should. They have to sacrifice their desires for his sake and drop their programs on short notice. If my daughter wants to call her friends at home she can't, and I can't accompany my daughter to the mosque – even for Eid prayer.” Besides their everyday lives, it is only natural that the couple's married life would be deeply affected. Nuzhat and Siraj-Ul-Haq confess that their marriage and personal lives have been affected, but they add, “There is no way out of the situation, except by embracing reality and seeking contentment in what we have been blessed with. It took us a long time to reach this level of satisfaction. We have passed through many emotional and depressive phases. Sometimes we felt everything around us was bleak, but realizing that there are many others who are in an even more desperate condition made us strong enough to deal with this problem.” The couple have also received psychiatric counseling to help them deal with the psychological and social challenges they face while taking care of their son. Nuzhat points out that Abdullah enjoys great support from his siblings. His sister Hiba expresses this mutual love and says “I feel very emotional when he hugs me after coming from school. I care for him as I understand his pain.” Even Abdur Rahman, Abdullah's younger brother takes care of his every need. “They care for him like parents,” says Siraj. Abdullah's parents feel like their lives are revolving around him and his needs. They have to be very attentive at all times. “Mistakes and carelessness are words which we have omitted from our dictionary. A single carelessness can cost a lot,” said Nuzhat. Hussain points out that the role of parents gets even more crucial in case of a special needs child. One has to find the right balance, since pampering and misplaced sympathy can derail the whole process of rehabilitation. “These kids need equality; they need to be kept at equal footing as that of normal children,” she says. “The best solution is to keep moderate expectations from such children. We don't want to make them academic professionals, but aim for them to become independent and capable of taking care of themselves.” Hussain added that society plays a vital role in the rehabilitation of special needs children. People see them as “odd” because of the gulf created by parents – some are overprotective, some are disconnected and distance themselves from the child, and others are overwhelmed by their situation. “In the West, children with disabilities are treated socially like normal people. Parents must understand that they need to be treated normally, parents should back them up and be proud of them. Finding the right balance and keeping the faith are the keys,” she says. __
