The conservative nature of Arabs mean that they are unlikely to speak their minds or about their problems until it is too late. In the West, joining a support group is important to a patient's recovery or a method to cope with losing a loved one. Majdoleen Reefy was widowed after 20 years of marriage and was left feeling entirely alone. She added: “I had three children to raise on my own with no family to help apart from a sister who lives in Japan, so when my husband passed I felt like it was the end of the world like most women do. “Later I realized it is just the beginning of my life.” Reefy got married at only 16 and her life knowledge was very minimal and her children very young. She said: “I had no idea how to pay bills or what happens when I didn't have water; my husband used to take care of everything and I never once thought of the simple details.” After struggling for more than a year and a half Reefy following her husband's death, she started to get the hang of things and found there were many clueless women in her exact position. Initiating a support group for single mothers might not have been the most natural thing to do in a conservative society, but it was a must in Reefy's opinion. “It's not natural to know how to create a relationship with the water delivery guy so that you can call him personally when you run out of water, but when I found out there were companies you could call, it felt like a miracle.” Most women in Saudi Arabia used to rely on men in many areas, specifically those who have been married for 10 years or more. Jumanah Gahtani, a member of the group set up by Reefy, said: “There wasn't much we could do back then. “Even jobs were restricted to specific fields so it was impossible to blame a woman for not knowing the ABCs of living.” The group meets every month to speak about the issues that they face and provide members with guidance, support and solutions. According to Reefy, the challenges are never ending, especially when it comes to raising children to become model citizens. “If a woman could raise a child on her own, Allah wouldn't have made having a husband compulsory. “The weight of the responsibility is shocking.” Single mothers do not have to be widowed. Many of them are divorced and living alone for many reasons, so helping them cope and get their lives on track is the core of the group. Reefy believes for whatever their reasons for living alone, it is considered heroic to be able to raise children and survive on your own these days. She added: “Times have changed and some families can't afford to take back their daughter or her parents have passed away and her relationship with her brothers is not good, so living alone is the only option.” Discussions do not revolve around children only. The groups discuss every single problem a woman faces when she is left alone with no male guardian to help her. Members were reluctant to join initially, but once they attended one session they would never stop going. Member of the group Hana Al Sabhan said: “It's like you're part of a family; we share our fears, responsibilities, problems and hopes openly knowing that not one member will judge you.” Members even share information about new marriage opportunities and how to pick the right partner. Reefy added: “When you're married once, the second time is always rocky and picking the right partner is key, especially when you bring children as a part of the package.” An expert's input is needed at times so Reefy invited family specialist Dr. Elham Ezzy, who hosts a discussion every few months. Ezzy added: “Coping is not easy and having support of any kind is always helpful. “I personally think groups supporting people with a disease or a specific problem is the best form of therapy.” Ezzy added sharing the same experiences make it easier for an individual to cope, but neglecting problems and not speaking about them could damage a person's mental and psychological wellbeing.
