Saudi Gazette NO. It's a small word and we often hear it in our daily lives. It is also the most common answer given to children by parents without offering any explanation when parents don't want their children to do something or go anywhere. According to Elham Ezzy, a family counselor, it develops hatred in the child toward their parents and makes them rebellious, and as they grow older their parents have less control over them. Ezzy advises parents to make their child understand the reason behind any objection. Children will then not stubbornly ask or demand for the same things repeatedly once the reason is understood. Although it's not wrong to say “no” using the word excessively evokes rebellion in a child and makes them close any channels of communication with their parents, making the relationship difficult as they reach their teens. Building an open line of communication with children is very important as many parents realize later in life that they have nothing to talk about with their children when they grow up. Ezzy said channels of communications should be formed with children from the time when they are just babies, as they grow up they will feel important and that is the core of a relationship. Children need attention and when they don't get if from their parents they turn rebellious. Child Education Specialist Nermeen Abo Abid said that rebellion is a sign of neglect and not just an attitude problem. Abo Abid said that parents should monitor their children and take care of when, what they say. When parents are busy they don't bother to understand their children, so they either approve or disapprove of everything, which is an unhealthy habit. Teenagers are the most difficult to deal with as they go through hormonal changes and different children have different ways to deal with it. Ezzy said if there is a healthy relationship between the parent and the teenager then there are less chances of conflict. And the key to remember is what parents were like when they were in their teens. Unfortunately, most parents don't realize the effects until it is too late. “ I always used to say “no” to my children without giving them any reason whenever they wanted to do something because I was afraid that they might hurt themselves. But, after I lost my son last year in December in a car accident, I advise all parents to put conditions or give reasons when saying “yes,” said Nadia, a mother of three boys. Nadia said her son Adullah repeatedly asked his father to teach him how to drive a car. But, Nadia always used to tell Abdullah that as long as she lived he will never touch a car. Nadia was scared that if she let Abdullah drive he might hurt himself. Her undying love cost Abdullah his life as one weekend his friends gave him a car, which he hit on an electrical generator while driving, dying at the tender age of 15. Ezzy said being scared for a child's life is not a reason for parents to say “no.” She said children need to experience life's adventures because of a human's nature to seek knowledge. Ezzy believes that parents should always give their children a chance to do what they desire under their watchful eyes because when parents say “no” children usually look for alternatives which sometimes prove to be very dangerous. __
