Saudi Gazette Shopping uplifts mood, boosts your immune system, takes good care of basic social needs and maintains a sound physical and mental health. Apart from the fact that it is enormously fun! But, is it really fun shopping with children? Couples who have young children may find shopping as an arduous task. Either they don't have a reliable baby sitter or they do not have anyone at home worthy enough to leave their child with. And, if ladies have to go shopping then most of the time their husbands refuse to take care of their little ones. So, a shopping spree with children crying and trailing behind makes the entire task tormenting instead of pleasing. Umm Nasser's husband claims that it is unmanly for him to carry their seven month old baby around while she shops. “When my husband goes to the mall with me, he usually stays at the coffee shop and talks with a friend or occupies himself on his smart phone, while I shop. When the baby is quiet I push her in her stroller and when she gets fussy I have to juggle between carrying her with the shopping bags. My husband speaks negatively of other men carrying their young children, trying to console them while their mothers are shopping. Sometimes my mother offers to baby-sit so I drop my daughter off before I go to the mall.” Of course not all men dump their children's responsibilities on their wives, they in fact enjoy spending time with their children while mommy is shopping. “I feel immense happiness when I carry my one-year-old, and I enjoy seeing how delighted he is when I show him the dancing water fountain, the colorful shop lights, and other children running around. There is no shame in babysitting your own children, and I think that fathers in our culture need to be more involved in caring for their children. My wife deserves a break every once in a while and a chance to shop without carrying an unhappy, crying baby along,” said Ali Al-Shateri. One Saudi family has a fair division of responsibilities when they go to the mall. The mother shops alone for herself and her children along with taking care of the groceries. The father goes to the amusement area with the children to help and supervise them take small rides. At times he also plays some fun arcade games with his older son. It works wonderfully for their family. And when the whirlwind of shopping and playing is over, the whole family reunites and settles down for a relaxing dinner. Abdulrahman Al-Dhabyani, the father, said, “This is my way of showing my wife that we are partners, that we are both responsible parents, and that my family is very dear to me. Offering to take care of the children helps strengthen my relationship with my wife and also bond with my children.” Umm Reem often resorts to taking her domestic worker with her to the mall to stay with the children while she shops because her husband is unwilling to help. Merchants make shopping an even more difficult ordeal on mothers because they flaunt attractive temptations that make children whine and nag all day, such as candy stalls, floating balloons, doughnuts, and toys at almost every corner of the mall. According to social worker, Amal Ayyad, it is unreasonable for parents to expect their young children to behave perfectly and sit still for long hours at a time while their parents walk in and out of one shop after another. “While shopping may be enjoyable and satisfying for most women and some men, it is absolutely boring and painstaking for young children. Demanding a young child to stay quiet, not to move, run or touch or to delay his/her own needs will result in frustration and disappointment on both ends: the mother and the child. Children under the age of five cannot control their urges to eat, drink, sleep when they need a short nap, or to use the bathroom. In addition, sitting in the stroller all day is boring for a young child who has no comprehension of timeframes. For example, if a mother spends half an hour choosing out a pretty blouse, it may seem like two hours for a three-year-old strapped in a stroller,” said Ayyad. Ayyad advises that if a woman knows that she will spend a long time shopping, the best choice is to leave her children with someone she can trust. Otherwise, the mother should bring a good supply of items to distract and entertain her toddler, such as a favorite book, stuffed toy, and some snacks. Try to keep the shopping spree as short as possible and always reward good behavior with something pleasant for the child like a ride on the mini-train or merry-go-round in the amusement section of the mall. __
