Saudi Gazette Silence is pure, silence is healthy, and silence draws people together for it speaks louder than words. It avoids misunderstandings, malice, and useless friction between people. “Remaining calm and quiet is important at work so that colleagues do not lose the respect and friendship they share between one another. Raising your voice and lashing out harsh words may be considered by some as strength, but I think this habit is a weakness,” said Hajar, a young 20-year-old Saudi woman. Her facebook profile says, ““Silence is my secret key to wisdom.” Umm Yousef admires those who have the ability to control their tongue and the strength to refrain from arguing at length. “My son Yousef is an only child and every time I pray to Allah to give Yousef health and wealth, I always ask Allah to grant him the silence of the wise and the words of the learned scholars,” she said. University student, Layali Al-Alnzi, thinks that silence is a sign of strength and self-confidence, she said, “Remaining silent and avoiding quarrelling is a positive trait. During tense discussions, when accusations fly, anger rises, and others begin to yell, silence can be much more effective than engaging in a futile discussion. If an argument ensues between my friends on campus and emotions are raging and I feel attacked, I resort to silence, a firm look, and sharp eye contact to express my objection. My friends immediately understand that I am hurt, they do not know how to answer back to a blanket of silence, and they eventually stop yelling and think more clearly. I usually come out of an argument feeling victorious without ever having to exhaust my vocal chords.” Social worker and school counselor, Aisha Hussein Al-Azmi, confirms that in many situations, silence can be very conducive to reconciliation and getting a message across. Al-Azmi said, “Why do many people speak louder when trying to convince others of their opinion? Staying calm and quiet when an argument or discussion gets out of hand is actually a sign of wisdom and self-control. The quiet person who does not shout reserves more time and energy to think deeply and prepare a reasonable explanation after the argument simmers down. Such a person earns the respect and acceptance of others, even his/her opponent in the argument. Remaining silent is a skill with an ocean of benefits and it can be more effective than saying a hundred words. The person who masters the language of silence respects herself and others.” Fawzia Al-Hekmi, director of an educational television program, explained, “There are two types of silence, one is constructive and the other is destructive. When one member of an open discussion uses bad language, shows disregard for the people present, or personally attacks you to persuade others of his/her opinion, silence is wise. Debating with someone who lacks communication skills and is unable to abide by the rules of open dialogue is useless. However, if a polite and knowledgeable person is speaking and requests your input, your silence means that you are not paying attention, or are uninterested and unconcerned with what he/she is saying. In this case silence is looked down upon.” Al-Hekmi's co-worker on the television program, Tahani Al-Duwaihem, said, “One of the best communication skills one can develop is silence, but more importantly it is listening. Being a good listener is the secret behind getting along with others, being seen as a likeable person, and avoiding misunderstandings. I notice that the best interviewers and media professionals on our set are the ones who listen at length to the guests on the show and give their guests much space and time to think and articulate what they want to say.” __
