THE Prophet's (peace be upon him) was not a killjoy personality. At home he used to play with his wives. He allowed Ayesha to watch the games of men from behind the curtain. He let the daughters of Ansar enter his house and play with Ayesha; sometimes he also joined in those games. Once he ran a race with Ayesha in which he lost to her. In a similar race later on he, however, defeated Ayesha and said that it was in reply to her previous victory. Often the respected wives would indulge in pastime conversation and narrate to him the events of the past, personal as well as historical. The Prophet (peace be upon him) never discouraged such practices, rather sometimes he himself told them about his past life. Once Ayesha remarked that the Prophet (peace be upon him) lived, talked and laughed among his wives in a way as if he was not a great prophet, far removed from ordinary men and women. However, he used to become very serious when religious matters were discussed. The respected wives had all the freedom to prepare and eat whatever they liked. The Prophet's household was not rich and hence rich dishes were usually not available. However the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to take care of their needs and make provisions for good food and clothing. He did not like the golden or silver jewelry but asked his wives to wear jewelry made of the ivory. This kind of jewelry was common among women in those days. He wanted his wives to be clean and well-dressed; he would never chide them, instead he would speak with them in a gentle voice, even if they were wrong. If he ever felt some displeasure, he would pay a bit less attention to the concerned wife in order to make her realize her fault. And when the respected wives mended their behavior, he would enter the house smiling suggesting that the phase of his displeasure was over. This way the Prophet (peace be upon him) indeed intended to develop a healthy and all-round personality of the womenfolk. Today the situation is quite reverse of it. Our women hardly pay any attention to their health and there is hardly any provision for them to play within or outside their homes. The Muslim society needs to learn a lesson from the practices of the Prophet (peace be upon him). The Prophet's love for his wives is well-recorded. In fact, he was a loving and caring husband. He did not like and, therefore, did not provide too much worldly comforts to his family members. However, he tried to compensate that by giving them abundance of love. Ayesha is reported to have said that the Prophet (peace be upon him) would lovingly put his lips on the portion of the cup from where she had taken water or would eat meat of the bone from which she had already eaten. Such small but loving gestures go a long way to create a healthy atmosphere at home which is highly congenial for mutual understanding and living together. Ayesha has narrated a good number of events, which show that the Prophet (peace be upon him) lived happily at home. He joked with his wives and enjoyed their company. A happy home where understanding and cooperation prevail is essential for accomplishing major tasks, worldly or religious. It is, therefore, necessary for people to behave in such ways that can help them lead a happy family life. A disturbed family is like a hell whereas a happy and peaceful family life is like living in the Paradise. Usually people say that it is the woman who makes or breaks the family life. But from the Seerah of the Prophet (peace be upon him) we learn that man's contribution is equally important in this regard. We also learn that a happy family life is based on love and care that the spouses have for each other. In our present times some people do not behave with their wives properly. There is a misperception that men should appear tough towards their wives and children in order to maintain discipline at home. Such people believe that love spoils both wives and children. But this is a misconception as mentioned above. The truth is that there should be a balance between love and discipline. One should not only be a hard taskmaster, nor a doting and excessively indulgent husband. But all Muslims must keep in mind that love for one's wife is as necessary as obedience to one's parents. The Prophet (peace be upon him), as elaborated above, was a caring and loving husband. It has been reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) breathed his last with his head in the lap of Ayesha. Is it not enough to suggest as to what kind of relationship between a husband and a wife is required in Islam? – Courtesy: Radiance Viewsweekly, New Delhi, India (Concluded) __
