LAST month I read in a local daily a unique case of a husband wreaking havoc with his wife's life with an artful act of revenge for divorcing him. The local daily reported that the wife visited the traffic department and complained about her husband's act that had put her in a spot and sought redressal of the issue. The story read somewhat like this. The husband in a vengeful act against her repeatedly broke traffic laws — over 350 times — and accumulated traffic fines that amounted to over SR300,000. The twist in the tale was that he used the car that was registered under her name in order to pile on the pressure. All these violations were committed in just one month.
The husband decided that this was the best way to seek revenge after she had filed for divorce and won the case. The wife found herself in a hapless situation as she received an initial barrage of traffic violation messages on her phone. As the messages continued to pile up, as did the fines, she finally decided to complain to police.
It was indeed a unique case, but the traffic department heard her plea, investigated the case and redressed the matter. They seized the car from the husband and returned it to the rightful owner. And after detailed investigation, the police transferred all fines incurred to the husband's records because he was the one using the car and deliberately committing violations.
Last week, another story emerged that was similar to the earlier report. Another divorced woman accused her ex-husband of committing traffic violations using a car under her name just to leave her in a fine pickle. The total amount of fine for the violations accumulated was to the tune of SR75,000. She also complained to traffic authorities demanding the return of her car and to transfer the amount for the violations to her husband's name.
She told the police that she bought him the car, which in my opinion was a mistake, because she was able to pay the installments and he could not. After she filed for divorce, she asked the car back but she was surprised to discover it was totally damaged and was attached with a string of violations. The case is still pending with the traffic department.
The examples are a clear case of a vengeful heart striking back for a perceived wrong or an action that has either cost them or affected their social image. One could ask why act vengeful when the marriage is over? In my opinion, those who seek revenge after the marriage is over, whether husband or wife, are sick people. And I wouldn't be surprised that the same person, wives or husbands, must have been controlling or abusive during marriage.
There are many stories of husbands who have taken revenge against their wives by depriving them of seeing their children after divorce. There are those who steal their wives' money after their wives put their full trust in them, which in my view is a mistake, to run or manage their business or invest their money. People of such character will cheat even during marriage and the other half is well-advised to be more careful in their dealings so as not to come up holding the short end of the stick during marriage or after divorce.
But what is cause for concern is that many of the spouses carry the bad blood well into the aftermath of divorce and plan and act with evil intentions so the other party pays dearly — mostly in form of monetary loss. Such violent people should go back to the basic teachings of Islam that encouraged husbands to treat wives nicely even after divorce.
A verse in the Holy Qur'an says, "And do not forget graciousness between you. Indeed Allah, of whatever you do, is Seeing." And another verse says, "Either keep (her) in an acceptable manner or release (her) with good treatment." There are many Prophet's (pbuh) sayings on the rights of a wife over her husband.
The wives in the above two cases have committed a mistake by first not following the standard procedure of registering the car under their husbands' names. That way it would guarantee the owner named in the registration papers would be liable for any violations or claims, and the wife's name would be in the clear. The second one is buying something for the husband. The husband is the one that should provide for the wife, not the other way around. It is because of the inherent loving nature of the wife blinded by the charisma of the man in her life that she will stand by her husband in support till reality rips the blindfold. In most cases, like the ones mention above, the act of giving will backfire or she will discover that the man she sacrificed a lot for is unworthy of her.
Some men do not understand the concept of marriage, as it is a partnership between two people. Such people who resort to these measures of retaliation against their wives believe that marriage is not a partnership but an acquisition, over which they have total control. They get angry, frustrated and outraged when one partner takes the decision to break the contract and go their way. A slave master mentality kicks-in soon, and they want to inflect wounds in any way on whom they think as their "subjects" who want to leave — severing the bond.
Such men need education and they should know that divorce is a healthy exit of a relationship that's gone sour or has reached a dead end. This allows both to go their separate ways and live happily. Also there is absolutely no need to pursue the relationship any further or think of ways to retaliate against the other party. Ironically it is the women who are mostly victimized, and the law should be strengthened such that they deter future opportunists who seek revenge.
This wrongdoing is not restricted to us in this region, for there have been cases of the wronged wife or husband venting their ire on the other party in ingenious ways all over the world. This global malaise is a result of people putting self before everything else, while forgetting a little dose of humanity sustains relationships of all types. Islam teaches mercy and humanity, and if we take a leaf out of our holy book, we would definitely relate with the others more sympathetically and humanely.
The writer can be reached at [email protected] Twitter: @anajeddawi_eng
