Silatur Rahm or observing the bonds of kinship is highly praised and recommended in our religion. Family ties and blood bonds are sacred and are to be revered and maintained. Abu Hurayrah, the close companion of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "Learn enough of your lineage, so that you can establish the ties of kinship, for establishing the ties of kinship increases the love amongst families and multiplies wealth and extends age." (Tirmidhi, Hasan) The love established by the ties of kinship is precious, and healthy. It breeds social cohesion and encourages cooperation, thereby building the ummah, and its unity. Every small family unit contributes to the unity of the ummah at large. If within the four walls of our house we cannot get along well, then how do we expect to get along with the rest of the ummah? Allah has issued a severe warning regarding cutting the ties of kinship, in the following verse in the Holy Qur'an, {And those who break the Covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e., they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e., they will be far away from Allah's Mercy); And for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e., Hell).} [Chapter 13, verse 26] Breaking family ties is a grievous sin, and thus Allah has deprived its perpetrators of His extensive mercy. Even if it is just a phone call, or a quick visit, everyone appreciates family and good company. None of us wants to incur the wrath of Allah. We all seek His mercy, so why then do we cut relations with our blood relatives, risking being under the curse of Allah? The Prophet (peace be upon him) explained exactly what is meant by the one who upholds the ties of kinship. "The one who maintains a relationship with his relatives only because they maintain a relationship with him is not truly upholding the ties of kinship. The one who truly upholds those ties is the one who does so even if they break off the relationship." (Reported by Bukhari, 5645) Returning favors and giving gifts, or exchanging visits for the sake of worldly benefit, or for some other reason is not considered upholding the ties of kinship. Islam inspires us to reach a higher state, whereby we visit, call and give gifts without expecting a return. We uphold the ties for the sake of Allah, seeking His sole pleasure and His abundant reward. I leave you with a final Hadith to spur you on. Remember the case of the man who approached the Prophet (peace be upon him) regarding his family, who returned his kindness with nothing but animosity? A man said to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), "I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they abuse me. I am patient and kind towards them, but they insult me." The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said that Allah will continue to support this man as long as he continues to be kind to his relatives. By extending our kindness to family and relatives, it is not their rewards that we seek, but the rewards from Allah. May Allah make it easy for us to uphold the ties of kinship.
