It's that time of year again, when people dress up in red or pink, buy red roses and chocolates, and give out hearts in profession of their love. Even Muslims are caught up in Valentine's Day, which is really a celebration of consumerism, commercialism, and a superficial love. On the outside, it may seem cute, fun, and harmless to celebrate Valentine's Day. However, if we look back to the history of how Valentine's Day originated and what it represents, we would understand that it conflicts with our Muslim culture and faith on a number of levels. First of all, in the true Muslim identity, what are the occasions that we are encouraged to celebrate? As mentioned by our Prophet (peace be upon him), the Muslims' festivals are Eid-ul-Fitr and Eid-ul-Adha. And who said we should not have a lot of fun during Eid? On the contrary, we should celebrate these happy occasions with full-fledged festivities, including food, chocolates and sweets, gift giving, decorating the house, visiting friends and relatives, taking the kids to an amusement park, dressing up, and just having a great time! With such joyous occasions, Eid-ul-Fitr lasts three days and Eid-ul-Adha lasts four days, are we in need of imitating holidays from a culture outside our own Muslim culture? There is dispute surrounding the origins of Valentines' Day, but I will provide a brief overview of what some historians have said about it. Some historians state that Valentine's Day is related to the ancient pre-Roman festival called, Lupercalia, which was observed on February 13 through 15, asking the Gods to avert evil spirits and purify the city, releasing health and fertility. The Lupercalia festival was also in honor of Lupa, a female wolf who suckled two infant orphans, Romulus and Remus, who later became the founders of Rome. The name Lupercalia, means "Wolf Festival." If you read the rituals that were practiced on that mid-February celebration, Lupercalia, you will realize that it clashes with Islamic teachings. The festival began with the sacrifice of two male goats and a dog. Next, two young boys were led to the altar, to be anointed on their foreheads with the sacrificial blood. The sacrificial feast followed, after which the people ran around the city nude, except for goatskins that they wore as thongs. They carried in their hands two bands made from the goatskin with which they struck the people who crowded around. Girls and young women would line up on their route to receive lashes from these strips. This was supposed to ensure fertility, prevent sterility in women, and ease the pains of childbirth. According to legend, during this festival, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would each choose a name and become paired with his chosen woman. Picking a random woman's name and having sexual relations with her; that is far from love or romance. Muslims should not use this day as a way to show love to their significant other. Throughout the year you should shower your wife or fiancé with love, flowers, and chocolates, why single out Valentine's Day? Other historians link Valentine's Day to another occasion in history, centuries after the time of the Lupercalia. The Catholic Church changed the day from a pagan festival, Lupercalia, to a Christian festival; a tribute to a priest, St. Valentine. According to historian Dr. Abdullah Hakim Quick, legend has it that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. The Emperor of Rome, Claudius II, decided that single men made better and stronger soldiers to fight wars than married men. The Emperor banned marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, led a peaceful rebellion against Claudius by performing marriages for young couples in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. On the day of his execution, from prison, Valentine sent a letter to a girl he had fallen in love with, possibly his jailor's daughter who visited him during his confinement. The letter that he wrote was signed, "From your Valentine." Allegedly, Valentine was put to death on February 14th, thus Valentine's Day is in his memory. At the end of the 5th century, Pope Gelasius declared February 14th St. Valentine's Day. It was not until much later that the day became associated not with matrimonial love, but more with physical and sexual attraction. The media is shifting ideals, it makes the younger generation think that romance is not found in marriage, but is found elsewhere in open relations between guy and girl. It is a false illusion of love, based on physical pleasure, and not true love based on companionship, understanding, support, respect, and trust. If all those cultural reasons are not enough to abandon celebrating Valentine's Day, think about it from an economic perspective. By celebrating Valentine's Day we are feeding greedy corporations that are making millions of dollars off of this day. With shrewd and tactical marketing strategies, businesses are making an enormous profit off of Valentine's Day. According to history.com, "Approximately 150 million Valentine's Day cards are exchanged annually, making Valentine's Day the second most popular card-sending holiday." Why Muslims would want to celebrate Valentine's Day is a mystery to me! Not that Islam is against love or romance, not at all. Love and romance are beautiful and should be enjoyed within a healthy marriage. If you really do want to profess your love to your wife or fiancé, here are five languages of love that you should be using regularly in your relationship, and not just on February 14th. Tips to make your loved one feel special: * Affirmation; make her feel loved, valued, and appreciated with kind words. "You look beautiful!" "I love you!" "Thanks for the delicious dinner!" * Gift giving, there need be no special occasion to give and receive gifts. Surprise her with a gift simply because you love her. * Acts of service: take out the trash without her having to ask, if you know she likes a particular dessert pick it up for her on your way back from work, offer to help put the kids to bed at night so she can relax. Take her car for the oil change and tune up. * Physical touch; not sexual or intimate touch, but an act of love; hold her hand, hug her, play with her hair. * Spend quality time. In the evening, turn the TV off and ask her if she would like to go out for a cup of coffee, or play a board game, or take a walk.
