I knew a man who used to lie all the time, to the extent that I would not believe him even if he swore that he is lying. Even when he died and I saw him lying in his coffin, I did not believe him. I remembered this man as I read a report in the Daily Mail this month on celebrity lies entitled “Cocaine on my nose? No it's just whipped cream”. The expression was uttered by the socialite Paris Hilton, who was photographed with an obvious white substance inside her nose. The newspaper published a funny collection of lame excuses: - The beautiful model Naomi Campbell said that her tantrums which often end up with her in court come from a sense of abandonment, even when all men in the world, young and old, wish to just win one look from her. - The singer Amy Winehouse was seen drunk and crawling around on all fours, stealing drinks from tables. Her father said that she was close to death twice but that she is better now, and that was she was just pretending. - Actress Winona Ryder was caught shoplifting in Beverly Hills. She claimed she was stealing in order to get into character for a movie role. - The actress Lindsay Lohan was pulled over by police while driving, and found to have cocaine in her pockets. She said she had borrowed the trousers and had no idea what the drugs were doing there. - Like the above, singer Boy George denied that the cocaine that was found in his apartment in New York belonged to him. He claimed that he is a social person and many people visit him, and that they are to blame for the drugs. However, the court did not believe him. - Singer Lily Allen was seen drinking many mixed alcoholic cocktails, before falling down during the party. She was carried outside and claimed that someone put something in her drink. As the reader can see, lies in the above stories mostly involve alcohol and drugs. However, this applies to celebrities only. As for other people, lies involve everything else, and the statement ‘I love you' contains implicit lying, even if it is truthful when it is being uttered, because it will not continue to be so forever. In the West, men lie to get sex, and women lie through sex to get what they want. A man tells a woman that she is the prettiest woman in the world, and she tells him that she knew no man before him. He promises her to call in the morning, and she says she goes on looking for him but cannot not find him. Everyone who reads this column, because he likes self-torture, or is unemployed, knows that I am supporter of women's rights, and a modern Qasim Amin. Nonetheless, I hold women fully responsible if men lie to them, because they insist on asking questions, and I do not understand why they expect men to say the truth when they know that they would themselves lie if they were in the same position and being subjected to a barrage of questions. I also blame both men and women if they believe the promises of a candidate in the elections, as these candidates do not deserve to be in parliament unless they are professional liars. Still, political lying remains useful, because since this is known, the public would look for the truth everywhere except in politics, by default. If the reader is interested in the subject of mutual lies more than this column can offer, there are many topics online about mutual lies, including some in Arabic. However, I will not go into them here, because most of these are known such as when [a man] tells [a woman] that she is fit and that her weight has not increased one gram after 20 years of marriage, although she has become the size of a two-bedroom apartment. As for her, she tells him that he still has his hair, its colour and its appeal, when he has become balder than a Snooker ball, and has the same chance of getting back his hair as that ball. Sometimes, reality can be stranger than fiction, most severely so in the mouth of a lover who thinks that love lasts. Even without love, we all know that women are often accused of lying. However, the men who accuse her of this, lie more than the weather anchors on television. Does the reader know for instance, that Satan in all religions is a male? He lies to humans to mislead them, but some do not need much encouragement to stray from the rightful path anyway. I heard about a Homsi or a Kurd who is surrounded by six demons, one to tempt him and five to explain. What matters in this subject is to remember to deny everything, sharply, strongly and insistently, even if there is a damning recording or image, just like the celebrities did in the examples that I stared with. Finally, the beautiful woman in front of the roulette table in Las Vegas tries to win money or one of the young men around the table, and says audibly with a sweet smile that she dreamt that she will win if she bets her age, so she bets on 21 but the ball stops at 36 and she faints. God, forgive her and forgive all the liars. [email protected]
