When looking for a bride for their son, one of the most important considerations for Saudi families is the reputation of the bride's family, which is based on centuries-old Saudi tradition. Reema Abdulhadi, 31, a private sector employee, has been forced to join the ranks of the Kingdom's spinsters despite her beautiful face. A large number of suitors come to ask for her hand, but they never come back after the first visit. “I am a well educated girl from a good family but, unfortunately, my father is a drug addict who steals and is in and out of jail because of his addiction,” she said. Abdulhadi and many other girls have been suffering in silence because of the addiction of a member of their family, being unable to start a normal family of their own. “It is really very frustrating. The behavior of your father or mother is affecting your life negatively, but there is nothing you can do about it,” added Abdulhadi. Sari Arafat, 12, has also been affected by his father's drug addiction, which led to his parents' divorce following which both of them rejected him. “Being the son of a non-Saudi father who has a criminal record as a result of his addiction ruins any chance I had of getting the Saudi nationality from my mother,” said Arafat. Studies show that addicted parents often lack the ability to provide structure or discipline in family life, but at the same time they expect their children to be competent at a wide variety of tasks earlier than do non-substance-abusing parents. “Children of addicted parents are faced with emotional difficulties caused by their parents situation and the rejection of society,” said Azza Abubakur, a sociologist at King Abdulaziz University. “It is well known that drug addiction is not accepted in Saudi society. And this is especially true when it comes to marriage. Parents refuse to allow their children to marry the children of drug addicts so as to prevent any future problems,” she added. Esra Abdullah, 23, the daughter of a man addicted to alcohol, said that in her neighborhood no one wants to communicate with her or her family. “Everyone can see that my drunk father sleeps all day, has no job or money, and forces my mother to ask for money from her relatives,” she said. “We lost our lives, our reputation and our ability to have a normal family just because of drink,” she added. Islamic scholars think that despite all the difficulties that children of addicted parents face, they should still try to treat and help their parents. “Drugs and alcohol can negatively affect all members of the family, but parents have the right to help and treatment instead of being hated. Muslims should keep in mind that in at least four places, the Qur'an puts kindness to parents immediately after worship of Allah, which is why Muslims should be gentle and kind to their parents and treat them with respect,” said Sheikh Taha Hassan.
