Saudi Gazette report The onset of adolescence and the subsequent dramatic behavioral changes are often enough to drive parents of teenagers crazy. Mood swings among teenagers can lead them to distance themselves from others, become depressed and even have suicidal thoughts. Al-Riyadh daily spoke to several Saudi mothers who are frustrated and struggling to deal with the behavioral changes their daughters are undergoing. Umm Sultan, the mother of teenage girl who she described as “stubborn and always thinking she is right,” said she struggles to deal with her daughter's impulsive behavior. “I don't know how to describe my daughter. She's always quick to make her decisions and thinks that we don't appreciate her skills. She is convinced that one day the world will acknowledge and appreciate these skills,” she said. Umm Muhammad said her teenage daughter never fails to surprise her with her increasingly bold choice of clothes and her belief that she lives in a male-dominated society. “Sometimes, she wears clothes with crazy colors that are too glaring. She likes to disappear all of a sudden and hides on the roof and we are left looking for her. She seems to enjoy doing the latter a lot,” she said while adding every time she asks her daughter why she hides on the roof, she says she needs some privacy to herself. “She keeps telling the entire family that we live in a male-dominated society. I think she heard the phrase on TV but she even tells me that I favor her brother over her,” the mother added. Umm Ramadan described how sudden behavioral changes in her daughter have left her flabbergasted. “One day she is obedient and will do anything she is asked to do and other days she acts as if she was deaf and never answers to her name when she is called. In many situations, I give up and don't know what to do and how to get her out of the crazy state she gets in,” she said. Teenagers are not sick Dr. Abdulrahman Al-Salih, family psychologist, said teenage years are crucial for girls because this is the time when major personality changes occur and advised parents to take extra care of their daughters during this time. “Some girls can have a quiet teenage period free from negative effects on their personality and behavior. Regardless of their behavior, the best way to deal with them is to be nice and kind and never fight with them when they act strangely,” he said while calling on parents listen to their daughters and allow them to say what is on their mind during this crucial period. Mothers play an important role According to Dr. Al-Salih, a mother should be her teenage daughter's best friend. Fathers should help as well and friends and teachers come next as they can affect the personality of a teenage girl. He said parents should not use force or be unjust to their daughters at this critical period because the side effects can be huge. Aisha Al-Ahmari, educational supervisor and student counselor, said parents should accept the psychological unstable state of their girls, not focus on their faults or annoy them, respect their privacy, help them become self-independent, always support and try not to lecture them. “It's natural that teenage girls go through an unstable stage and mixed feelings of sadness and happiness at the same time,” she said, stressing that constructive dialogue is the best way to deal with a teenage daughter.
