THOUGH setting rules and disciplining children is crucial in developing a blended family, sometimes things can get out of control when parents go over the top.
As a result, children dub their parents dictators when they become authoritarian and turn the family home into a military camp where everyone is on the edge.
Umaimah Abdulrahman is a student who feels her father's rules relating to meal times, bedtimes and going out suffocate her.
“If anything happens contrary to how he wants it, he will punish everyone. We get locked in our rooms for two weeks if we don't follow his orders. He always shouts at us and orders us around as if we're soldiers,” she told Al-Riyadh Arabic daily.
Some people justify their methods of parenting by saying this is the way their own fathers brought them up. However, young people nowadays feel that the times have moved on and methods of parenting need to change accordingly.
Abdullah Al-Sawee, a high school student, feels his dad is far too strict. “Anyone who makes a sound with a spoon while eating will be kept hungry all day long at our house. No one is allowed to talk, let alone make a sound when having breakfast, lunch, or dinner,” said Al-Sawee.
He has had frank conversations with his dad about this. “I've asked him several times to change but he is always adamant that things should be done his way,” he added.
Umm Danah is a government employee who disapproves of old-fashioned methods of parenting.
“My grandfather was a school principal who passed down some of his sternness to my mother. She follows in the footsteps of my grandfather who used to enter his children's rooms out of the blue without notice and check everything that they did,” she said.
Samaher Al-Khaldi, a college student, feels very irritated when her younger brothers sneak up on her and ask her about what she is doing.
“They do that because my dad tells them to do so. I'm no longer a little girl who needs to be supervised all the time. I want some privacy and I'm old enough to deserve some. The way my father was raised is different because he was born in a different era,” she said.
Umm Salih is a mother of three children who feels her brother is just as domineering as her father.
“My brother did not really get to enjoy his childhood like other children. He was given too much responsibility even though he was only a child. My father would never let him play outside. He used to always say that playing was time-wasting and that he should focus on other beneficial things,” she said.
Psychologist Husa Al-Sailan said dads who behave in a dictator-like fashion might be doing so because of social pressure, difficulties in their lives or negligence.
“Overprotecting and spoiling a child can contribute to them developing an authoritarian attitude,” Al-Sailan said.
“The person's condition can get worse during his teenage years and he could become more authoritarian in everything he does. When he gets married, he could suffer from the same problem and it is highly likely he will pass down the same traits to one or more of his children who will grow up to be like him,” he said.
She urged parents to always remember that the methods of parenting used by their own parents may not necessarily work with their children.
“Strict methods never make strong men. Today, it is better and wiser to employ a flexible upbringing method,” she said.
